There are so many things I care about. So many I can’t even count them nor keep track because it feels so overwhelming: environment, feminism, human rights, veganism, vegetarianism, oceans, animals rights, palm oil… But there also are personal things I care about like eating healthy, running every other day, saving some money for later, make sure people I love are happy, having all my health check-ups done on time, paying my taxes, calling people I love on a regular basis, not buying random stuff I don’t need…
But from time to time — when I try to remember why I stopped eating palm oil many years ago while my niece offers me to share her Kinder Pingui. Or when I buy two flight tickets for a total of 900$ in one minute, screwing my budget and the environment, or even when I crave a seafood platter — my mind starts wondering if I should still care about so many things at the same time.
And of course, I feel horrible.
to care, yes, but not all the time
Caring about things, having strong convictions we stand for, are what makes us who we are. Some of us will be more sensitive about the environment, or what happens to convicts, politics, animals. Caring for others is being altruistic. Thinking about what makes us react, makes us angry or happy, is vital. But when the list goes on and on without having some time off; it can be exhausting. When we care, it’s a part of us, and we wouldn’ t stop caring for even one second. But fighting against deforestation and the environment is like any other fight; tiring. And sometimes, we do deserve a break, to regain some of our strengths.
But taking a break is not cheating, and we all agree on this (except Ross and Rachel, obviously), but it still doesn’t make it easy to admit we need one.
Eating a Kinder Bueno once a year doesn’t make you a bad person. it doesn’t cancel everything good you’ve done before. It just makes you human. Stop beating you up, people will do it way better than you.
to care, yes, but not for everything
When I first got hired in an advertising agency more than ten years ago, my boss — brilliant woman — gave me two of the greatest pieces of advice anybody ever gave me:
1 – When you read an email that makes you feel really angry, wait five minutes before answering it. Then write your answer once you’re a bit calmer. Re-read it. And delete it.
2 – Pick wisely what you’ll be fighting for.
The first piece of advice was brilliant, but I didn’t follow it all the time to be honest. I wish I’d be willing to apologize to everybody I e-yelled at, but it wouldn’t be sincere.
But the second one was one piece of advice that helped me survive the past decade, in my professional and personal life.
You can’t fight everybody and everything. You do need to pick your fights, otherwise you’ll get tired way too quickly for things that aren’t worth your energy. And of course, you’ll realize it way too late. Having strong beliefs doesn’t mean fighting all the fights in the world.
Of course you’ll care for several organizations, movements and causes. But you’ll need to prioritize, or you’ll lose before even starting the fight.
to care, yes, but not to feel better than others
I’ve had these talks with people where everything felt like a contest. Homemade food for babies, DIY for apartments, wedding planning, alcohol consumption, quitting smoking, veganism, traveling in France to reduce CO2 emissions even though they were never concerned about the environment, blaming soy culture to reassure themselves about eating meat, blaming the fast fashion industry, blaming, blaming, BLAMING. To the point where people (I was and still am a part of it when I don’t restrain myself) don’t even talk to each other but blame each other, just to make sure the other part will feel less good about their actions.
Or how to take something good and turn it to shitty around a two hour lunch break.
God, we can be really efficient when we feel like it.
Even though it’s a totally understandable mechanism, it still feels like we — way too often — are fighting each other, instead of fighting one battle. And for what? Just showing the neighbor we do better than them.
(Suckers)
to care, yes. And sometimes yes, but without doing anything. Because we are human.
I’m worried about a lot of things. I wake up every morning quite happy, before remembering what’s wrong in the world and in my life, less than a minute after. And if I don’t pay attention, it freaks me out. So I would start thinking, but not positively with some solutions in mind. I would just start thinking and freaking out. Which is not good, for my mental health, my peers mental health, nor my expression lines.
Over the years, I managed to sometimes care, without feeling miserable everytime I would think about something that worried me. And accepting the fact that I couldn’t be fighting everyday, every cause, with everybody. And since then, I feel less guilty while I still do things for the causes I care the most about, and I don’t have any expression lines anymore.
Nah I’m kidding, the lines are still very much here.
But I don’t care.
